Anger Management Through Gardening

Apparently, I have chosen the right hobby to embark upon, as I find myself becoming increasingly frustrated by toddlers being, well, toddlers.  What better way to relieve some stress and veg-out (pun intended), than to weed?  Spending time with the dirt (even if it is crawling with horrific, repulsive creatures like wolf spiders), growing and nurturing self and nature.  Lovely.  I can just picture myself in matching tools, hat, gloves, and sloggers.  Such a thrilling image of children being cooperative, and then actually eating their veggies because they grew them!  And, the added benefit of having the children understand where food comes from.  The fortunate side to the boys refusal to eat meat is that I won’t have to show them where that comes from. 

Searching around for gardening “musts,” I happened across the “Red Dragon,” and these thoughts suddenly shifted.  Well, it appears that some folks really depend on gardening to manage anger…  It’s a flame-thrower-backpack!  What sort of rage must the customers who purchase such a product need to subdue?  What manner of weeds are so odious and insidious that they must be dealt with through the power of fire?  I can only imagine rampant, fire-bearing gardeners on a mission to destroy the most dastardly and nefarious varieties of garden pests and unwelcome vegetation. 

Contemplating…purchasing…one…of…these… 

Pru

Simple Things

Well, they should be simple things.  After driving around the hills of Virginia, and being in the mountains for the first time in ages, I realized how potent nostalgia really is.  I have been missing my Sandias, my Sangre De Cristos, Mt. Lemon, etc., for a long stretch, but this summer’s vacation has really made me question where I can actually grow.  Visiting family in Virginia made me realize that I really want a garden of the vegetable variety.  Simple, right?  Clear some land, plant some seeds, et voila!  Garden! 

No.

I have been staring at seed catalogues for days now, trying to figure out what I want to grow, and how I want to grow it.  Should I use a raised bed, or just plant things straight into the ground?  All of the seeds sold in Jacksonville are gone too, so starting anything from seed isn’t an option until the seeds come back (where did they go?  The state apparently takes them to check them and re-date them?)  This sounds like it may take a while.  So, heirloom and organic seeds from “Johnny’s Selected Seeds” sounds like the only way to go.  Plus, they have creepy blue pumpkins, perfect for Halloween.  How could one resist a grey-blue pumpkin, or a purple carrot?!  I could become a mad gardener and grow all manner of dastardly edibles.

In preparation for gardening, one of my big goals is to get all of the old mulch out of the landscaping.  This seemed simple too, but has now been complicated by my loathing and horror of Wolf Spiders, which apparently live in there by the millions!!!   We had been killing large spiders in our house for weeks, and I have seen them by the hundreds under the grass outside.  It didn’t look like the wolf spider I had last known, and I really hoped it wasn’t.

As I was preparing to rake up the old mulch, I saw several pin-head sized spiders in my bathroom.  I quickly did them in with wadded up tissue, and realized how many of them I was seeing.  My mind flashed back to the horrors of living with wolf spiders in Gainesville, and with good reason.  As I emerged from the shower, the mother was staring straight at me.  One tiny spider-ling was about eight inches in front of her, and it looked like she was calling him back.  I quickly stepped around them, squashed the little one, and then got the swatter to smack her with (far too large a creature for me to kill with my bare anything). 

I swung, and she exploded with hundreds of spiderlings, all over my floor and walls. 

That was one of my biggest reasons for leaving Florida the first time.  Now, I am going to need to seek therapy for this. 

Bugged,

Pru