My broom is busted, and by broom I mean vacuum cleaner. There are now two busted vacuums in my house, loads of dog hair on the floors…cheerios, and my favorite…rice. Why the rice? Because I am retarded a genius! I bought a beach toy for the boys. You know, one of those funnels atop several wheels that rotate when sand or water is introduced? Well, we have had rainy days, and I am hesitant to head back to the beach any time soon…so, I decided to use it indoors with, what else but rice?! Ingenius! The boys decided it was much more fun to sit in the huge box with the rice, threw out the toy, and just dumped rice around my floor. Even the dogs joined in the fun. Rice is still everywhere, and that may be the reason my vacuum is broken. To top things off, the kitchen light is burnt out. Which sounds like a small thing until one realizes that I have to do something to keep the boys out of the kitchen (preferably without their screaming–because I have had all I can take), I have to find the right sort of light, pile everyone into the car, pick it up and maneuver it and the strolly through the paces of the Home Depot or Lowe’s, and then pile everyone back into the car and try to figure out how the heck I am going to get the ladder from the garage, without the kids screaming or being stepped on, or climbing up the ladder (I trust that Finn will be the only one to attempt such a feat, as he climbed our step-ladder before he could walk), and keep the boys out of the garage (because we all know there’s just too much crap in there). Glass, kitchen, ladder, pirate twins…none of those things are good together.
The only thing that could honestly make my week better is knowing that I am going to get royalties for the new Lost Boys movie. I am, right? I mean, the return of the Frog Brothers is awesome (even if it is bad), and they mention Suckmonkey. I think a cash exchange for name use is only right, no? Especially since the line is, “Your sister’s a Suckmonkey,” and I am indeed a sister and Suckmonkey. Who wrote this movie anyway? I am going to get to the bottom of this. How did they know?
Also, I experience ecstasis every time I think about the new Indiana Jones movie, even though I have yet to see it (and I am certain it will be awful–I mean, who the heck is that stoopid kid anyway? Where’s Short-Round? I sure hope he’s in it too). Why ecstasis? Because, when I was a child that was who I wanted to be. Well, either an Archaeologist/Anthropologist or Virginia Woolf. Now, if someone could make a movie that combined the two, that would just put me over the moon!
Which brings me back to witches and their brooms…and why the heck do my vacuums break every three weeks? A service tech once told me that they weren’t meant to suck up all of that hair–what? You can’t be serious. What are vacuums meant for if not sucking up pet hair, rice, paper, bugs, and generally anything which I do not wish to pick up and throw away? Nonsense. Someone has to make a vacuum that someone such as myself can use with abandon and count on not to break. Otherwise, it is just a message from the universe that I should stop cleaning. On second thought, I am not sure I want to see the boys running around looking like small primates, with dog hair stuck to every sticky/wet surface.
Nope, this witch has to go get her broom fixed.
Pru
